I received my new J.Crew catalog this week and happily sat down to read it magazine style, since I look at it for styling ideas more than individual pieces. I flipped the page and THERE THEY WERE. Again. The sequined harem pant. Really?? When I saw them many months back when Jenna Lyons wore them on Oprah AND in Elle Decor on the the same month I thought “Ok, I hate them, but they’ll be a flash in the pan”. But then they put them out again- the most unflattering pants on the planet- now with a drawstring waist! Next to giant shoulder pads, harem pants are my very least favorite “trend” and to add sequins to them is like, so visually offensive. I think my retinas would be burned if I saw someone wearing them in real life. YET, they are sold out! At an offensive $650 price tag too!! This is something that leaves me baffled- who bought them? Where are they wearing them? Can you imagine answering the door for a date in these? It would be all “Surprise! Did you not know you asked out MC Hammer?”
They are the perfect item for one of my new favorite blogs The Man Repeller, which features fashions that are so unflattering and weird that they clearly repel men but tickle fashionistas silly. Like the jumper/onesie. I remember being super duper against them and then I found a rather cute one that I wanted to wear to a fashion event and I was all proud of myself for being “on trend” and came out of the bedroom in all my onesie glory when Andrew looked at me and goes “you aren’t seriously wearing that are you?”. The man never criticizes my fashion sense because he knows I’d use my Tae Bo skills circa 1996 on him if he did, so that meant it had to be REALLY offensive. I was like, “but I’m so hip!” and he said “it looks like you have a diaper on”. That’s all it took, and I spun on my cute little heel and popped on a DVF number and kept it classic instead.
Footnote: If you own these pants I apologize….and hope you saved your receipt. :)