Last night I got into a minor car accident. As I sat here beating myself up about it and the fact that my new car I was so excited about has a big fat dent in the front now (which then “tumblweed-ed” into getting worked up about everything else that is going wrong) I got this post sent to me by Andrew. And instead of crying tears of anger, I am now crying tears from the sweetness of my husband…
As I quickly run out of topics to write about (how Erin does this day in and day out I will never know), I thought I would share some thoughts about how I intend to approach these holidays. I could very easily begin with thinking of others, volunteer for a cause, etc. All worthy topics. And something we should all do. Instead though I think I am going to make a concerted effort to reach out to those I take for granted and let them know I appreciate them.
That of course begins with Erin. This is a touchy one because in our small inner circle it is often said that I am the one who gets taken for granted. Of course this is true (what married couple doesn’t do this to each other?). But it isn’t often that I get called out for taking her for granted. I do though. I don’t spend enough time thinking about how I can make her happy. How can I make her feel beautiful and special. What a little bunch of flowers do for her mood. That she makes most our meals despite a just as hard, if not harder, day. I don’t sit back and remember how I felt when we first met. How hard I tried to win her approval. How much I didn’t want to leave her at the end of the night. The butterflies in my stomach I got from just thinking of her. The nausea that came from thinking of her with another guy. I remember feeling I would do anything to make her love me…but I haven’t kept that promise to myself. Do I tell her enough how proud I am of her? And not just for her success on this blog, but in many other areas of her life? Do I tell her enough that she makes me smile even when she is not with me? That I pretend she is watching me play squash in the morning and it makes me try harder? That she is the funniest person I know and I love that about her more than anything. Except that I love everything about her more and more every day. I don’t tell her that I love the way she loves our dogs because I know already how wonderful a mother she will be. The answer is I don’t. Not enough anyway.
And let’s not forget about my parents. I know that they will always be there for me, always have, and yet I can count on one hand the number of times I have told them how much that means to me. I never call my cousins just tell them how much I love them and how happy I am they are in my life. Same is true for my brothers, sisters, and in-laws. I have a wonderful and amazing sister and yet I call my dentist more than her. I have an incredible half-brother who lives 5 miles from me and I see 2 times a year…and he has 6 kids who I am in love with and want to be a part of their lives, but don’t make enough effort. I have a half-sister in North Carolina who I only talk to or see when someone dies or gets married. Pathetic. She is such an amazing person and I don’t do a damn thing about it. I can’t even begin to tell you how my in-laws are saints. Even Erin’s little brothers, who I think of as both brothers and friends. Outside of whipping them in ping pong what I have I done to show them they are important to me? And my friends who don’t live in Boston? Forget it. It is ridiculous how little we talk. The ones in Boston? A little better but some serious room for improvement on that front. While I am at it, there are a few co-workers I could tell how much I enjoy working with them, respect them, and that I am glad to have on the team.
Looking at all these people I take for granted actually makes me smile. I have a lot of wonderful people in my life and all I have to do is get better at letting them know. Could be worse.
I don’t know if everyone is as bad as me, but I would guess many will relate. Let’s all make a little more effort to let the people we love and care about in our life know it.