The Sling That Launches 1,000 Questions.


Today is an edition of “Deep Thoughts by Erin”- with a smidge of design on the side:

I was out shopping for baby gifts last weekend (as many, many have graced the Gates family in the last 2 months). I was perusing Lester Harry’s, a very lovely but VERY pricey baby boutique (cue Andrew yelling from across the store “This baby shirt is $95 bucks!!!What the f*ck??) when I saw it. The Serena and Lily embroidered baby sling that makes my tummy do flip flops of joy. I have coveted it before online, but had not seen it in person yet. I picked it up and inspected the lovely detailing and then actually, to my horror, held it up to myself. “Trying it on”, if you will. I looked at Andrew and said “I think I might buy it”– he assumed I meant as a gift for one of the baby momma’s, but no, I meant for a very un-pregnant me.
My reasoning being that what if they don’t make this particularly fabulous sling when I am actually pregnant? How upset would I be knowing that it existed and I hadn’t bought it? I was trying to avoid future buyers remorse, but is it creepy (and bad luck) to buy a baby item when you don’t, in fact, have a baby…or even know when you might want to have one? Looking at that sling brought up lot of questions for me: am I ready? Will I ever be ready? Do I even really want a baby or do I just want this stupid sling (which could be refashioned for carrying one of my dogs I suppose- granted they’d have to be heavily drugged to allow this)?
I think a lot of women my age face these questions with their 30th birthdays looming on the calendar. And it’s especially present in my life when I spend a lot of time oogling adorable baby things for the blog, designing nurseries, working mostly with hip, young moms (and having friends who all are becoming hip, young moms too). I see posts like Erika’s about her “bring you to tears it’s so gorgeous” nursery she’s designed (blew the one I designed outta the water) for her little one on the way and start craving to design my own. Look at this space- Oscar de la Renta fabric, drapes with coral and white stripes on the bias for trim, antique chandelier and a GOLD crib? This kid is going to have the most impeccable taste if this is how she starts her life!

Erika’s sister Darby is like SuperMom meets Martha Stewart and her blog is something I love to read- with all their crafts and sticky fingers and cute adventures (and if my kids are even half as cute as hers I will be thankful) and yet she still has time to creatively redo her bathroom (love this before and after) and make her own baby clothes and accessories and then blog tutorials about them! If she can do it all, can’t I? (Booming voice in my hed: NO!)

I’ve mysteriously also gotten hooked on the mega-mommy blog Dooce (for it’s hysterically honest writing) and even oogled her nursery in which she used the awesome Julia Rothman wallpaper I posted about months ago! All of the sudden I am hit with more pangs of “buy that for the fictitious nursery- just in case!”

What is my deal? Why am I now subconsciously dipping my toe in the waters of mommyhood when I don’t even know if I can handle it? There’s so much I still want to do with my business and my life (Paris will be checked off the list soon, though) and I just feel like I can’t do all that with a kid. Andrew is itching to expand the family and will be a ridiculously good dad (don’t even get me started on how badly my mom wants be be a “Nana”) but I am hesitant still- except for all these little “signs”, if that’s what they are. Or maybe I just really love designing nurseries?

In conclusion, I did not buy the sling. I think I have some time…

But what do you think? How did you know you wanted your life to change in this major way? And can you ever be 100% ready for it? And how annoying is this post?
Thanks for listening. :)

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