What I’ve Learned This Week.


The internet is a funny thing.  One that I credit for giving me most of my success as well as being the catalyst for meeting many of my good friends and my husband (match.com, y’all). But this week it proved to me that it’s also an ugly thing.  Too many people out there take this valuable means of communication and make it a dark veil for them to do damaging things and spread their negativity without owning their own actions.  This was displayed on my blog this week and I, for one, am not taking this behavior sitting down.

It unfolded in two parts- I received some rude comments this weekend from another Boston designer- or who I thought was another Boston designer because the comments originated from his email address and linked to his website.  It was a very upsetting back and forth between this person and myself, Andrew and even my Mom (Mom’s have to jump in and defend their kids, right?) I sent an email asking this person to please stop, and when more comments came in I flipped out.  I posted some irate things on Facebook about it and called this person out. I was so hurt.

And then I got a call this morning from him, baffled, saying he just checked his e-mail and he did not know what was I talking about.  Turns out, someone- a person who has been reading this blog for months- has been impersonating him and at least one other Boston designer in the comments section of this blog in an attempt to create discord between us and insult me. I was so taken aback, and HORRIFIED that I did not even consider that this was a possibility, and in turn that I myself became a part of this person’s plot.   When I am wrong, I admit it (Andrew may not agree with this 100%…) and so  I want to apologize profusely (and publicly) to Duncan Hughes for this whole thing.  He is NOT the person leaving those mean comments.   I want everyone who saw the commentary to know that and know that I feel like a jackass for being conned and am irate for Duncan as the administrator of this site.

And to that person who has been doing this, let me tell you this….impersonating someone on the internet is not a game.  Mean and slanderous comments are not funny. Call me whatever names you want, I don’t care about your opinion, but DO NOT use my blog as a vehicle for hurting others.  It is cowardly to do what you did and you are absolutely pathetic.  It is a free country and anyone is allowed to think my work is crappy, but do not EVER come on this site and either say something you wouldn’t say to my face just to be mean OR impersonate someone else while doing so. You may think that you are clever, but guess what?

I have your IP address.

I have your physical address in Medford, MA.

The internet does not make you invisible- there is always a trail.

I will do everything in my power to help Duncan, and others you have impersonated, prosecute you to the furthest extent possible.

And I just saw this morning that you tried commenting as my mother too. Don’t mess with my mom, you social misfit. DO NOT DO IT.  .

In doing some legwork researching this I found another person impersonating ME in the comments section! The comments were benign and this individual was not smart enough to omit their own e-mail address (seriously?!), so I have them flagged and have written them myself to cease and desist. I now am going to have to patrol this blog like a freaking COP!

Real damage can be done to people’s reputations, careers and emotional lives by these kinds of actions.  Even if you are not doing something as harmful as impersonating someone’s identity- catty, hurtful or bullying comments are damaging and cause harm to others.  This blog is a place where I put myself out there and share my work, thoughts and soul with all of you (99.9% of whom are amazing and I would like to share a cocktail with- God knows I need one) but to the .1% who think they are all important and awesome by being derelicts and meddling in people’s lives for no other reason than to make themselves feel important…. you are not welcome here and you will not get any more of the attention you so desperately seek. Why don’t you take the effort and energy you spend on your internet activities and get YOUR OWN LIFE.

I’m gonna go back to writing my book, Duncan is going to go back to designing beautiful spaces, and you, you little meddler, can go back to your mom’s basement…. or whatever hole you crawled out of.

Now back to our regularly scheduled programming. Thanks for listening.

Gates, out.





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