As Soon As Syndrome
Today, I’m heading back home from a wonderful weekend in Nashville and I find my fixating already on what needs to be done as soon as my feet pass through my door. This coming weekend, I have the floral design for a big wedding and I (of course) want it to be perfect, which means that every moment from now until the moment the vases are picked up after the wedding, I’ll be anxious and preoccupied. I realized in this moment that I find it so hard to focus on anything other than the current job at hand… life included.
So, I sit here mentally preparing for the week, finding myself thinking past the wedding already. Finding my mind hoping that I’ll get a chance to relax/settle down/focus on x,y, or z… as soon as this job is done. I say to myself, “If I can just get through this week, things will be fine”. It’s not just this wedding, however, it’s every big event or job in my life. It’s the house next door that we have renters moving into in 3 weeks and it’s a wreck… or it’s the vacation that I have planned, or it’s the post that I have a deadline for. I find myself jumping from deadline to deadline telling myself that it will all be alright once this deadline is past. The most dangerous part about this mindset is that I’m wishing away time just to get through the next deadline and I’m missing life that’s occurring in-between. It almost makes me sick to admit this out loud to you guys. I wanted to bring it up, however, because it’s a problem; It’s one of my biggest personal weaknesses and I don’t doubt that there are some of you who may also deal with this.
This spring has been the absolute worst for Matt and I in terms of this ‘As soon as’ syndrome. We had a big vacation which was fabulous, but even before we took off we were thinking, “As soon as we’re back, we’ll need to get ready for (blank)”. That blank was actually my mother-in-laws wedding, which I also did the flowers for, but it didn’t stop there. Then Matt’s grandma was in the hospital and it was ‘as soon as we get her diagnosis’, or ‘as soon as we get her into a nursing home’, or get the funeral arrangements done, or get her house cleaned out…. “As soon as” has ruled our life for the last two months.
This week, I want to put a stop to it. I want to start living life and stop wishing for the next phase to be done. I think sometimes the current stage or project we’re in can be messy, or hard and we’re eager for it to be over, but what do we sacrifice to scurry through a piece of our lives? Do we miss noticing the joy in the everyday? Do we miss seeing our spouse or children grow and change? Do we miss noticing the transformations in ourselves that happen slowly, rather than simply at milestones?
The good news is, ‘As soon as’ syndrome can be cured. I’m going to start by first being more mindful of the present, and second, by saying ‘no’ more often to make room for life to occur… and not just a string of events I’m trying to get through.
My goal for the rest of the summer (aside from learning to play the ukulele) is to work on these two things. I think a lot of us could make a more conscious effort to stop sprinting through life and start living it… to banish ‘as soon as’ and embrace the now. Tell me… are you every guilty of ‘as soon as’ syndrome? What do you think helps you get past this mindset?
p.s. Today is the official FIRST check in for our Summer Learning Challenge (even though I jumped the shark a little with last week’s video)! Post your new skills on your blog, social media, or in the comments below so that we can all keep up on how you’re doing! I’ll be posting a video today on Insta, so be sure to check in!
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